The Awesome Book of Parodies
by Moony the Mature One
Summary: Title says it all. More information inside.
1. Introduction

**Welcome to the book of parodies, written by me (AwesomeReaderAndWriter 357), and my two best friends (CloakMist1119 & AwesomePerson379). CloakMist1119 is the first friend's pottermore account name since she does not have a FF account.**

**This fanfiction is actually a whole collection of different parodies about different books and movies you may/ may not have heard of. There are also a couple of random stuff.**

**They might also be about fanfiction cliches.**

**There are multiple warnings throughout the 'book', depending on which parody it is. Though, in general...**

**WARNING: Parody (duh), AU, Violence, Character Death, Sometimes Completely OoC Characters, Randomness, Crack, some SLASH, spoilers, and risk of becoming a bit insane...**

**This is the table of content. Updates will be slow since we all have better things to do and better stories to write than to think up random parodies during school time and choking on our food while laughing. **

**Chapter 1: very detailed summary ( note sarcasm) of a couple series of books. Spoiler alert.**

**COMING SOON! Chapter 2: Les Mis Alternate Ending (Includes all warnings from above)  
**

**Chapter 3: Twilight saga Alternate Endings**

**Chapter 4: Harvey Black, Son of Lily Evans and Sirius Black. Dark! Harry! How did that happen?**

**Update should be within this month...**

**Now, just be patient and read some other stories while we type up the first parody.**


	2. Summaries of some books pt1

Alright, I know I said previously that the first chapter was gonna be about les miserable but I changed my mind. Instead, here's some book summaries my friends and I came up with. Maybe you will guess which books they are. SPOILER ALERT!

* * *

1. Sticks.

This book is about a bunch of people with sticks.

More detailed: This book is about a guy who has a stick and who became bff with 2 other kids with sticks and together they go to a school full of people with sticks. In the end, they try to defeat this other dude who has a noseless dude on the back of his head. He also has a stick. They defeat him. The end.

* * *

2. Sparkle

This book is about a bunch of sparkly people and not sparkly people.

More detailed: This book is about this chick who falls in love with a sparkly dude and then falls in love with a non sparkly dude and then there were a war.

* * *

3. Untold millions.

This book is about untold millions crying out in pain.

More detailed: This book is about this dude that can break stuff including a chicken. He, his friends, and his grandpa, who is always late, go fight a group of librarians.

* * *

4. Swords

This book is about a bunch of people with swords, knives, daggers, and tin cans.

More detailed: This dude with a sword and his friends who have knives and tin cans, go on a quest to find this lightning bolt. They find the lightning bolt and return it to this giant dude who wears a suit.

* * *

5. Guns

This book is about a bunch of humans and fairies with guns.

More detailed: this book is about a really smart guy who's a criminal mastermind and kidnaps this fairy with a gun. Then this big dude fights off a troll. Oh yeah, and there's a bunch of little fairy police officers with guns who are trying to get the fairy that has a gun back.

* * *

Like it? Hate it? Please review!

In collaboration with cloakmist1119 and awesomeperson379.


	3. Javert's suicide parody

**Disclaimer: We do not own Jean Val Jean, Les Miserables, Daniel X, The Big Bang Theory, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Ranger's Apprentice, Harry Potter, James Bond, 6:4, Twilight, and Bonhomme.**

I do own DART, at least I think I do...unless it actually exists.

**A/N: Here is a random parody for an alternate ending to Les Miserables **that we wrote because we were bored and **because we are awesome! **Actually, it started with a question for a critical thinking question when we were doing novel studies for the book 'Jean Val Jean as told by Solomon Cleaver'. **That was long and boring. Guest appearances by more fandoms than I want to name. ** You already did in the disclaimer...**whatever.** **If anyone can find the Big Bang Theory reference **and/or the Six of Hearts one, **you get a cookie **(an imaginary one for self-satisfaction).** Now go read the story **and REVIEW! **Please. **Right. Oh, and this story is co-written by **awesomeperson379 (bold). **The story does not have bolded parts, but awesomeperson379 did write a lot of it. I just contributed 20-30% of it.

Summary: Javert commits suicide (tries to) and everything goes chaotic. Features Jean, Javert, Cosette, Marius, Gillenormand, and finally... Bonhomme!

The river Seine flowed quickly under the bridge, raising high waves at impact. Javert watched it flow. All his family** (A/N Not sure if he did have a wife or a child. If he didn't, ignore previous statement)** and friends had perished during the barricade. Valjean could not be arrested since he saved his life. He had come here to find a solution to his problems. This was the solution. One jump that could end it all. He leaned forward a bit more and fell off the bridge.

Unfortunately, the Fates were not on his side. He had forgotten he was the son of a certain Barnacle Beard, so he went James Bond style and comes back to life. Cursing under his breath, he clambered out the river and met Jean Valjean again. See, Javert was actually an M16 spy while Jean was a North Korean spy and were enemies. Thus, as soon as they met again, Jean shot him with a Raptor gun (Although he just saved Javert's life which is the reason why this whole commiting suicide thing started. There's also the problem of where he would get that gun) However, Javert escaped by going James Bond style (again).

Meanwhile, Marius was an Alpar Nokian from the future and was also a North Korean spy. He healed quickly using his awesome alpar nokian powers. On his way to find Jean, he ran into Javert and sent the inspector to Pluto using a couple technologies he stole from the future. Javert spent the rest of his life on that planet (despite the fact he should've died within a minute due to lack of oxygen, cold, and other stufff). When he died, he became the only ghost on Pluto until a group of little green aliens found him. They freaked out so badly that they left the planet before blowing it up. That is the end of Javert and the debate of whether Pluto was an actual planet or only a dwarf planet (It started similar debate about a planet a gazillion light years away and a speculation on how Pluto suddenly exploded. Only one guy named Joe Bob knew the truth, but when he announced it, he was sent to a mental asylum.)

Back on Earth, Jean suddenly realized he had a secret crush on Javert(even though he tried to kill him just a while ago) and when he found out what Marius did to his crush, he was so mad that he killed Marius (something very very OoC). Cosette, who still loved Marius even when she discovered he was actually an alien, went crazy and sent herself to the Ranger's Apprentice Universe using her dead lover's interdimension machine. She went on a killing spree and beheaded anyone within 2 meters radius with a giant pickaxe before killing herself to join Marius. Since all the characters are gone, the serie couldn't continue anymore.

Ranger's Apprentice was Jean's favorite book serie and when the serie ended abruptly, he became so depressed that he locked himself in his night, Bonhomme heard of Jean's sorrow, he went to Jean's house and stared at him like a creeper. Then, after Jean woke up and almost had a heart attack, he introduced him the Harry Potter serie. Jean fell in love with the Harry Potter serie and forgot about Javert and Ranger's Apprentice. He lived happily ever after until he read Twilight which was so horrible that he died.*

THE END

Oh yeah, there was also Gillenormand, Marius' grandfather. Well, he was completely fine with the news that his grandson was an Alpar Nokian fugitive from the future. When he learned that his son's savior/killer died after watching a movie (RIP Jean Valjean _-18_, killed by reading Twilight), he decided to read it too to see if it's really that bad. He didn't get to read the whole first book: he was traumatized for life only after reading the first chapter. In the end, he died after watching the awful PJO movie.

THE END (REALLY)

*DART- DART is a newly discovered disease, also known as Death After Reading Twilight. Experts have recently concluded that the series is bad enough to be deadly. Jean was most likely the first to suffer the DART Disease.


End file.
